Step 1 and a half : The proposal

I'm good at making surprises. Well ... at least I like to believe that I am.

I've been preparing for months for B's birthday. I wanted to surprise him the way he surprised me on my birthday.

So I went out months ago to buy a watch. His old one is at a bad state (given by his ex), so I feel the need to replace it for the new one. I then found one at a good bargain but after much googling (and after having bought the watch), I found out the brand was a misleading brand (made in china but named like an american brand complete with guarantee card). Disappointed with my own purchase, I seek for another present.

A week later, I went and bought him a hard disk. 1TB ok, not cheap not cheap.The fella has been saving all his documents and abusing his laptop with files that I think a hard disk is just what he needs (Oh did I mention he's an IT guy?). 

Then, after having bought all those presents (dua je pun), I intelligently ruined the surprise. About 2 months or so ago, he had a rough moment where his car broke down in the middle of the road, he borrowed his brother's car which then got hit and run by a lorry driver, and then the motorbike he borrowed from his other brother broke down because of the heavy rain. Seeing him in such a sad state, I decided to give him the watch although it still long before his birthday. Told him it was an early present and that's all he's going to get for his birthday but secretly bought the hard disk as a second present.

But....last december, I completely forgotten that I bought the hard disk online and I was supposed to pick it up. Panicked and completely stressed out by work at workplace, I called him and ruined all the surprise by telling him to pick up his present on my behalf.

That is to say, I ended having nothing else to give him on his birthday.

Excuse me, the story doesn't end there.

Last week, on the day of his birthday, we went out to shah alam for a nice date and I thought I could at least give him a birthday card, treat him for lunch and be as charming (ye ye je) as possible for his birthday.

But, instead the surprise was on me.

After he got his birthday card, he then took out another card.

He lied and said that it was a wedding invitation from his friend.

When I opened it, I saw this :

A love note that he typed out (he said he has a bad handwriting, so it's better if he typed it out), and folded it into a love note (which he took the time to learn on youtube),

and then

he proposed.

Awwww (sound effect)

On the necklace was our initials with a lock and a key.

He said, I hold the lock and he has the key.

Another awww..

OK, to my oversea friends, it doesn't mean I'm engaged. It's not how malay tradition works. There is no element of surprise cause I'll already know that we're planning to get married but still, he made the effort to be romantic and all mushy lovey dowey which surprised me and touched my heart.

Now my heart is all warm and glowing.

Ok, step 2 this weekend.

Buckle up

*Yawn*

It's only 9.30 pm and I am exhausted.

Making decision is indeed, tiring.

First and foremost, work is forever tiring. There is going to be some major shuffling in the office. My boss is quitting and the CEO will be our direct boss while advertising for a new replacement. It's gonna be scary working directly under her and I dare bet she's directing us 180° from our current direction. The terrifying part is my job will be on the line cause it seemed clear during appraisal that my work is not their initial aim.

Secondly, I'm planning a huge event, a once in a lifetime (hopefully) thing and it's exciting and scary altogether. Only today we've booked with a few vendors (I bet you know what I'm talking about) and pray hard everything goes well.

Ok, let's go for a life roller coaster ride.

Buckle up!

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Nope, sleep first, ride later.

2 worlds

I have known two worlds in my upbringing ; the rich and the poor.

I'm neither.

I went to a school where in my opinion, was filled with spoilt b**ches students from higher class society (please don't get offended, it may not apply to you). Those who lived around the area was mostly datuk and datin, if not, wealthy businessmen.

Again, my family is neither.

I went to that particular school simply because despite the people, it was and still is a good school. And also because my grandparents live nearby. They owned the house even before the school existed. They lived there since like probably during the end of the mesopatamia era.

But peer pressure was on. And even up to this day, it still is on.

At school the girls would probably be like, hey look at my roxy bag and now, when I got back from France, they would be like hey, did you get a longchamp? Then, I just remained silent, trying to dodge whoever who may ask such question.

I'm ashamed to say that sometimes I do get caught in this $$ trap. Money spent like river flows.

Now that I'm a working woman (I flinch calling myself a woman, I still feel like a girl), I know how hard to earn money. And when I look at those other women, I can't help but feeling envious to the point of being jealous. Life comes easy for them, having wealthy parents a big plus (especially when you're planning a wedding and I know a lot whose parents basically pay for their wedding) and work is easy as well since they can just work at their parents' company.

I struggle to keep a low paid job and I struggle to manage everything on my own. Sometimes I stumble and pushing myself to stand again is ever so tiring. I worry and worry over my financial status and I worry about my future. At times I wonder if my worry would be endless.

That's all I wanted to babble about. I'm afraid if I go on, someone might puke while saying, as if you're the only person with worries in this world.

I wish to end this post by saying, guys I lost my precious phone. I suspect it was stolen. So please contact me using my digi number meanwhile I look for a replacement;, though I don't think anyone care to contact me.

Oh, and happy new year...